There is a terrible plague racing across this land, my friends. A plague born upon the leafy wings of mustard greens soars overhead, dropping bombs full of bean curd and cabbage. The enemy wants nothing more than to make you feel guilty for eating the flesh of the inferior. They want to question the wisdom of eating things that contain such wonderful things like fat and salt. You alone, wearing your bacon t-shirt, can stand to this menace.
I know for a fact that something had to die for me to eat the steak I'm going to have for dinner tonight. I try not to think about the pain of some living thing and just enjoy my darn steak. These veggie-nuts are relentless, though. They want to show me videos of slaughterhouses and other unpleasantries. I don't want to sound like a jerk, but that one cow fed dozens of families. I'm sorry it had to die, but maybe it might want to think about developing some higher brain functions instead of 4 stomachs the next evolutionary leap.
Who really cares about cows, pigs, and chickens anyway? Would they be contributing to the world in any way except eating and pooping? All of the really cool animals in the world make their way by killing and eating the stupid, slow animals. It just so happens that humans are some of the coolest animals in the world, second only to the panther. If we, as a race, stopped eating animals then we would be kicked out of the Cool Animal Club in no time at all.
Have you noticed the advertisements these people put out? They brainwash skinny celebrities who live on a diet of soy and bran that meat is evil. These incredibly hot women then make ads for their vegetarian overlords that are far too unfair. They make you want to think that if you'd just put down that hamburger and eat some corn, that these women might give you a little extra attention. The fact of the matter is that women who look like that want dudes who look like them, or dudes who are stinking rich. Odds are good that you're neither, so have some bacon.
Well, I'm not taking this abuse any longer! I'm standing up for my rights as a bacon-loving American this very instant. I'm putting on my bacon t-shirt, and I'm going to use that bacon t-shirt as a badge of ultimate authority against these terrible plant-eaters! I am mad as hell, and I am not going to take it anymore! Now...where did I put that bacon?
I know for a fact that something had to die for me to eat the steak I'm going to have for dinner tonight. I try not to think about the pain of some living thing and just enjoy my darn steak. These veggie-nuts are relentless, though. They want to show me videos of slaughterhouses and other unpleasantries. I don't want to sound like a jerk, but that one cow fed dozens of families. I'm sorry it had to die, but maybe it might want to think about developing some higher brain functions instead of 4 stomachs the next evolutionary leap.
Who really cares about cows, pigs, and chickens anyway? Would they be contributing to the world in any way except eating and pooping? All of the really cool animals in the world make their way by killing and eating the stupid, slow animals. It just so happens that humans are some of the coolest animals in the world, second only to the panther. If we, as a race, stopped eating animals then we would be kicked out of the Cool Animal Club in no time at all.
Have you noticed the advertisements these people put out? They brainwash skinny celebrities who live on a diet of soy and bran that meat is evil. These incredibly hot women then make ads for their vegetarian overlords that are far too unfair. They make you want to think that if you'd just put down that hamburger and eat some corn, that these women might give you a little extra attention. The fact of the matter is that women who look like that want dudes who look like them, or dudes who are stinking rich. Odds are good that you're neither, so have some bacon.
Well, I'm not taking this abuse any longer! I'm standing up for my rights as a bacon-loving American this very instant. I'm putting on my bacon t-shirt, and I'm going to use that bacon t-shirt as a badge of ultimate authority against these terrible plant-eaters! I am mad as hell, and I am not going to take it anymore! Now...where did I put that bacon?
About the Author:
To fill your brain about bacon t-shirt go to funny bacon t-shirt to see how it's done right.
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