Those dumb blondes jokes are from the book 100% Blonde Jokes. Check it out now for 100s of dumbest blondes jokes.
There was a blonde, a redhead, and a brunette and they were all up in space. Each girl tried thinking up ways to be better then the other two... The redhead said, "I am going to be the first woman to land on mars." The brunette said, "I can beat that, I'll be the first woman to land on saturn." The blonde said, "I'll beat both of you, I'll be the first woman to land on the sun." "How are you going to do that", the other two asked. "Simple", said the blonde. "I'll go at night!"
A blonde suspects her boyfriend of cheating on her, so she goes out and buys a gun. She goes to his apartment unexpectedly and sure enough, she opens the door and finds him in the arms of a redhead. Well, the blonde is angry, she opens her purse to take out the gun but as she does so, she is overcome with grief. She takes the gun and puts it to her head. The boyfriend yells "No, honey, don't do it." The blonde replies "Shut up, you're next."
A blonde who got a fishing rod for her birthday decided to go ice fishing to make good use of her gift. Early the next morning, she got all her gear together and headed out to the ice. When she reached her final destination, she cut a large hole in the ice and dipped the rod in. Then suddenly she heard a voice that said: "There are no fish in there". So she moves to another spot and cuts another hole, but then the same voice spoke again and told her there were no fish in there. So she moves again, and the voice tells her there are no fish in there. So she looks up and sees an irritated man staring down at her. "How do you know there are no fish there?" asks the blonde. So the man cooly says "Well first of all, this is a hockey rink, and second of all, you're going to have to pay for those holes."
A blonde woman finds herself in dire trouble. Her business has gone bust and she's in serious financial trouble. She's so desperate that she decides to ask God for help. She begins to pray... "God, please help me. I've lost my business and if I don't get some money, I'm going to lose my house as well. Please let me win the lotto." Lotto night comes and somebody else wins it. She again prays "God, please let me win the lotto! I've lost my business, my house and I'm going to lose my car as well." Lotto night comes and she still has no luck. Once again, she prays... "My God, why have you forsaken me? I've lost my business, my house, and my car. My children are starving. I don't often ask you for help and I have always been a good servant to you. PLEASE just let me win the lotto this one time so I can get my life back in order." Suddenly there is a blinding flash of light as the heavens open and she is confronted by the voice of God Himself: "At least meet me halfway on this -- buy a ticket."
A blonde pushes her BMW into a gas station. She tells the mechanic it died. After he works on it for a few minutes, it is idling smoothly. She says, "What's the story?" He replies, "Just crap in the carburetor." She asks, "How often do I have to do that?"
There was a blonde, a redhead, and a brunette and they were all up in space. Each girl tried thinking up ways to be better then the other two... The redhead said, "I am going to be the first woman to land on mars." The brunette said, "I can beat that, I'll be the first woman to land on saturn." The blonde said, "I'll beat both of you, I'll be the first woman to land on the sun." "How are you going to do that", the other two asked. "Simple", said the blonde. "I'll go at night!"
A blonde suspects her boyfriend of cheating on her, so she goes out and buys a gun. She goes to his apartment unexpectedly and sure enough, she opens the door and finds him in the arms of a redhead. Well, the blonde is angry, she opens her purse to take out the gun but as she does so, she is overcome with grief. She takes the gun and puts it to her head. The boyfriend yells "No, honey, don't do it." The blonde replies "Shut up, you're next."
A blonde who got a fishing rod for her birthday decided to go ice fishing to make good use of her gift. Early the next morning, she got all her gear together and headed out to the ice. When she reached her final destination, she cut a large hole in the ice and dipped the rod in. Then suddenly she heard a voice that said: "There are no fish in there". So she moves to another spot and cuts another hole, but then the same voice spoke again and told her there were no fish in there. So she moves again, and the voice tells her there are no fish in there. So she looks up and sees an irritated man staring down at her. "How do you know there are no fish there?" asks the blonde. So the man cooly says "Well first of all, this is a hockey rink, and second of all, you're going to have to pay for those holes."
A blonde woman finds herself in dire trouble. Her business has gone bust and she's in serious financial trouble. She's so desperate that she decides to ask God for help. She begins to pray... "God, please help me. I've lost my business and if I don't get some money, I'm going to lose my house as well. Please let me win the lotto." Lotto night comes and somebody else wins it. She again prays "God, please let me win the lotto! I've lost my business, my house and I'm going to lose my car as well." Lotto night comes and she still has no luck. Once again, she prays... "My God, why have you forsaken me? I've lost my business, my house, and my car. My children are starving. I don't often ask you for help and I have always been a good servant to you. PLEASE just let me win the lotto this one time so I can get my life back in order." Suddenly there is a blinding flash of light as the heavens open and she is confronted by the voice of God Himself: "At least meet me halfway on this -- buy a ticket."
A blonde pushes her BMW into a gas station. She tells the mechanic it died. After he works on it for a few minutes, it is idling smoothly. She says, "What's the story?" He replies, "Just crap in the carburetor." She asks, "How often do I have to do that?"
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